I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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