i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Too much gin, very little bucket
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
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