Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
