Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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