plz talk dirty to me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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