Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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