i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
