he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
