Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
