Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
