At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
my liver is dry heaving
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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