bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize