Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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