...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
