I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
