He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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