i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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