Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
