think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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