filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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