dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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