Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
