It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
