Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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