u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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