The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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