i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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