I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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