I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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