Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
