im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
