a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
