I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
