but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
