you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
being pregnant is like rehab
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
