The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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