she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I smell like Dick and happiness
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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