can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
