I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
