I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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