It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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