i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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