I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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