Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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