Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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