Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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