We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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