I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
