just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
