They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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