I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
