You just made me feel so damn special
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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