We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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