Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
