my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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