I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
