I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap