Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (565) Bad night (1497)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?

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  (860): I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/etyc
  Replies (12) Good night (804) Bad night (2113)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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  (248): I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/icyg
  Replies (11) Good night (1247) Bad night (2538)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

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  (630): He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house. http://tfl.nu/pura
  Replies (50) Good night (3227) Bad night (5512)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

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  (785): i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up http://tfl.nu/4wl0
  Replies (10) Good night (4719) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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  (540): he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck http://tfl.nu/km3p
  Replies (22) Good night (3691) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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  (508): I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls http://tfl.nu/izkj
  Replies (4) Good night (1961) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

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  (724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd
  Replies (7) Good night (1088) Bad night (3388)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?

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  (914): Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."? http://tfl.nu/ptvq
  Replies (18) Good night (2490) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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  (204): So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you" http://tfl.nu/y1sq
  Replies (6) Good night (668) Bad night (2652)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

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  (418): You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar. http://tfl.nu/ds06
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team

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  (813): You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team http://tfl.nu/nq8a
  Replies (6) Good night (719) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.

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  (505): We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back. http://tfl.nu/nmtq
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (171)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!

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  (+45): Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad! http://tfl.nu/8427
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (207)

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