Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.