Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
