she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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