What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
