I feel like abortions should bother me more
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So many bounce houses so little time
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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