So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
