How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize